Friday 8 January 2010

Dream: which involves somebody that does one of the websites I write for.

Thankfully today is Friday and the end of the first working week of 2010.  It has been a quick and cold week and this morning proves no exception as it is yet another chilled morning.

As I leave my flat the neighbour’s bike is strewn across the bottom of the steps in our block.  What the fuck is she playing at?  Rather than stepping over it I step on it.

My car isn’t too frozen this morning but the roads are gnarly.  I have come to realise that the key to driving in these conditions is not to brake and hope you haven’t got to stop.

The villains of this climate are revealed today as an SUV decides to drive up my arse and attempt to push me along.  While I have to concentrate on the movements of the car in front I now find myself having to also worry about the prick behind me just because his vehicle is better equipped to deal with these conditions.  Just because he penis substitute is designed to deal with these roads it doesn’t mean that mine is.

The stupidity continues reaching an incredible degree of dumb as cars still choose to drive in the right hand lane (the fast lane) even though it is caked in more ice and frost than the slow lane.  Eventually this reaches a head at the bypass roundabout as vehicles happily decide to cut across and cut people (me) up.  This gives me the opportunity to sound my horn which I have itching and relishing for.  That said in the end no one crashes and no one dies, it all just ruffles my feathers.

Today the train is almost back to normal as I manage to board/catch my usual without opposition from the elements, even though it is slow pulling away.  They just cannot be bothered to get it right.

At work today is hopefully when I put the new company to bed, which ultimately happens even though when the consultant bowls in unannounced it causes the usual disruption to the flow of proceedings.

I attempt to arrange a meet up with Angela again today but unfortunately no dice.  Suddenly I am beginning to get bad vibes from her, have I done something wrong?  Have I offended her without realising it, as I am prone to doing.

In the afternoon the girl who I used to work with at the studio messages me out of the blue offering to pay me £100 to do the financial paper for her leisure and tourism degree.  Who am I, Brian Krakow?  For a God fearing Christian she sure likes to try and get me into trouble, the last time being her reporting our phonecall conversation regarding Baker Street which ultimately got back to them causing Hogan at Baker Street to delay my final salary payment and send me that puffed up scary letter threatening to report me to my accountancy body and pursue legal action.

The highlight of the day comes in the form of Clichy from Arsenal dining in the restaurant.  With this a buzz of excitement spins around the office and The Girl gets slightly wet over his presence revealing her for the wannabe WAG that I half suspect most females would like to be.

Eventually 5PM comes around and with it freedom.  With the spectre of Christmas still looming over proceedings it comes as something of a relief to get the first week of the year done and out of the way.

I easily manage to catch the 6PM train (the “Sarah train”).  I actually would have easily made the 5.50PM train had it not be cancelled by the fannies that be.

Once back in Colchester the drive home is stressful but nowhere near as bad as I had feared it would be.  The real problem arises as yet again cars in front of me decide to drive with too much precaution (or caution?) and drag which only causes risk in the process.  Just please drive normally so that I don’t have to concentrate on the conditions and your shitty driving at the same time.

Another big problem occurs when I arrive back to Bohemian Grove only to discover a car parking in my spot.  As I see the guy getting out of the car I hammer on my horn but he ignores me.  It turns out that he is only delivering a pizza, which seemingly gives him the right to neglect my gestures.  From his perspective there is an abundance of spaces but the one that he has chosen to park in is the one that is mine.  Am I overreacting?  Nah, you just have to nip these things in the bud.

Eventually he drops off the pizza and fucks off but not before I experience a genuine fight/flight moment.  I’m sure if contested on this occasion I would just have buckled like a belt.

Tonight I had originally held every intention of writing but ultimately I am just too tired to scrape anything off.  Soon I head to bed to watch the final part of The History Of Now: The Story Of The Noughties.  I fall asleep before the end of the documentary (now I will never know how the decade ended) and then awaken for the beginning of Nurse Jackie, which I also fall asleep during just before the end.  This time I stay asleep.