Monday, 9 March 2009

Monday 9 March 2009

I have a dream in which I feature in the new Lesbian Vampire Killers as some kind of stand in (naturally) to James Corden and as a result the movie is suddenly great, far surpassing Shaun Of The Dead against all expectations, which generally are that the movie is probably likely to stink as it has been rushed out off the back off Gavin And Stacey.

The whole James Corden think is freaking me out. When he played the scummy character in Hollyoaks I was really offended (but sadly resigned to the fact) that when Steve’s mum pointed out I looked like him and he I. Now that the guy is hot property I can only dream of regaining such doppelganger credibility. These days when girls stare and double take at me is it because they think that I am him?

When the alarm rings this morning it is a rude awakening but at least the sun is out. It is an aching walk to the station; did I say my foot had recovered at some point last week? Why does my body ache so much these days, I’m only 32 for fucks sake.

My week starts off well as a so so train journey into town is sound tracked by last week’s Danny Baker 606 which I still had not got around to listen to. It’s a good show and gives me some fever for football.

On the train is the Asian lady I appear to harbour some kind of minor obsession for. We have both been catching the same train infrequently for years now and for some reason I am incredibly attracted to her. She however by no means is attractive (traditionally) so the whole thing must be based on her reminding me of somebody from my past. It is always with interest that I hear her voice when she speaks to a friend. It sounds like a hoover, not sexy or feminine at all. What the fuck is going on with me?

My luck on public transport runs out when a gnarly hic-cup on the tube sees my train being emptied and terminated at Farringdon. This is due to some points issue at Baker Street. Does anyone normal actually know what they mean by points?

At Farringdon the tone/atmosphere is lightened by the sound of the Scottish station announcer being cavalier and humorous with his announcements. As he keeps pushing the envelope more and more people begin to laugh and smile each other. It’s the small things that prevent riots.

As a result I stagger into work slightly late, the last to turn up in my office which is a rarity. After the panic at the close of play Friday it would appear that the email issue has now been resolved and our company’s web address has not been stolen and it not being held to ransom by some cyber squatter.

I am in the zone with work today tearing through what lies ahead of me, a strict deadline for the end of tomorrow. The ground work I did last Monday serves me well.

Racton gets in touch and emails about the Devo Forum gig saying now that it is a Don’t Look Back show with them doing their first record it is now exciting enough to attend. I follow him like a sheep and purchase a ticket myself also.

Elsewhere it would seem the council have hit us on some kind of bogus health and safety rap (which probably isn’t so bogus) and as a result heads are now shouting prior to what could be heads rolling.

In the afternoon our office finally gets a DAB radio. It is a dinky one with tinny output although I don’t have the heart to point this out.

For a second Monday running we get out slightly early just as the IT Guy hits me with some private tax queries, something I have little interest or energy to address at this time. Luckily I talk my way out of it for now.

When I get to Baker Street station I see Amy Lame and it genuinely makes me happy.

The train home is a slow one as a long legged McNulty lookalike/wannabe sits opposite me accidentally kicking me every five minutes. It doesn’t last forever though.

Walking home I originally wasn’t going to visit the olds but as I near their place I do, probably the result of some kind of hunger and knowing I can blag some food there. Oh well, Bobby is happy to see even if they are not.

When I get home to my apartment the Simply Supplements order I placed at the beginning of February has finally arrived and completed. I cannot believe the disgusting length of time it has taken that shitcan company to send me my supplements. When I ordered the Echinacea pills I was ill but that is now such a long time ago that my cold has now gone and I do not need the fucking things. What a sack of shit.

I have a bath and fuck off to bed.
np: Devo – Jocko Homo

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