Saturday 5 December
2009
Dream: I am witnessing
the filming of a strange promotional video for the 2012 Olympics. It is super nationalistic and basically it is taking the shape of
a complete charge of the Valkyries. With it various nations compete to be first
as things get heated and in the end as Great Britain is actually made up of
four countries it proves the strongest as the race for the finish begins to
resemble a human tidal wave. Of course
it is not the sickening display of patriotism that offends people it is more
the fact that at the front of the Great Britain charge is one of their
Paralympics athletes being pushed in his wheelchair at 100mph akin to that guy
that got hooked on the front of that truck in America a year
or two ago. It is a crazed scene but in
a way I feel honoured to be witnessing it as it appears to be representative of
the end of the world. Will we even make
it to the 2012 Olympics?
Foolhardily I wake up
quite early after this mindfuck of a dream.
The time is around 6.15PM, which is no time to be waking at the
weekend. What really wakes me is the
sensation of my glasses being crushed beneath my right shoulder. I have fucked up and now the left arm of the
glasses is as broken as the right arm and may require a Jack Duckworth-esqe
repair job. This is not the best of
ways to begin the day.
Unable to resume sleep
I slip on the BBC News and try to catch some headlines. They spit out some news fodder but in
earnest nothing has really happened in the world over the night.
With this in mind I
decide to watch my Danny
Baker football DVD which I bought yesterday for £14 in full realisation
that after Christmas
I will probably be able to purchase it at a third of that price (I’m repeating
myself). I have such great memories of
the original videos back in the day, the first one was priceless but sadly the
quality really did diminish afterwards.
This DVD is good though, I genuinely laugh a number of times and Danny really has put more
into the writing and between clip skits than ever.
Around 8AM I head over
to Asda to do my
weekly thing there. With my little trip
to Sainsburys yesterday this comes as more of a luxury than necessity and with
it only the minimum of requirements.
Eventually I get what I need, mainly the Saturday
newspapers and a few drinks, and as I head to the self service checkout it
is with horror that my card plays up and despite putting my pin in three times
it does seem to take it. Did I just pay
for my groceries three times? Finally
the fucker spews out a receipt for me and I am done. Really though, did I just pay for my groceries three times?
When I get back the
Saturday Danny Baker Show
is on Radio Five and as always I listen to it before starting my weekend
properly. Today all the news is
concerned with the sentencing of Amanda Knox
and while Harry Hill is in the middle
of an interview the rolling news cuts to an Italian press conference spoken in
Italian at which point you begin to wonder if the story is worthy. Afterward the station gives up the ghost on
the press conference the show returns with tension in the air even though Baker
assures his producer (Issy) that he hasn’t got the hump even though he has
every right to be considering the ridiculousness of cutting to an Italian
language press conference.
Afterwards I continue
listening to Five Live as Fighting
Talk plays out in the background as I endeavour to write. Today feels like progress as I genuinely
appear to make ground on this stuff.
In the end the day
flies by with my more or less writing for the whole duration of it.
Late in the afternoon
I decide to have a break and so I put on my Big Train DVD that arrived a
few days ago. Much against its positive
reputation it fails to register with me.
Is this a case of my belligerence towards anything that is popular or do
I genuinely fail to find any of it funny? I think it’s a little bit of both.
Things fail to improve
any when news filters through that Millwall
have lost 3-0 at Hartlepool. With their strikeforce currently nursing
major injuries this hardly comes as a surprise.
Tonight is Alan Bennett night on BBC2
which I proceed to watch with view to drawing inspiration from it. Unfortunately it doesn’t quite work out that
way as the slow pace of his work really fails to spark me and inevitably I find
myself falling asleep eventually which in the end also results in my nodding
during the first part of the Thick Of
It season finale. My loss.
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