Sunday 5 July 2009

TODAY IS X-DAY!

After a tough, stifling night I initially awake at 8.45 before rolling back over to come good at 9.25.

My dreams were explicit last night, VERY explicit. Not in any lurid kind of manner, just clear and memorable. In this particular encounter I found myself at a variable of ATP. My American friend was there and she took centre stage. It is pretty obvious how the things I was doing and thinking about before going to sleep last influenced and shaped this episode – the writing about ATP, the watching of that On The Line movie (about missed opportunities), watching the weird flirtation on Big Brother, her year anniversary of arrival in the country. All in all it serves to disturb me.

The dream in many ways was spot on. I wanted to hang out with her but she sure didn’t want to hang out with me, handing out token opportunities and social bones. In the dream I felt the frustrations that I felt in person last year, it is amazing how dreams are able to make you feel the way you do in waking life, it says a lot about their ability to influence. Again it served to ultimately make me feel loss as I felt patronised whilst acting in my own, on my own back. Very depressing.

Today is already another warm one as I crawl out of bed. I have never known my flat to be so split heat wise – the front gets really hot while the back remains cool and comfortable. Indeed upon stepping outside into the day often it turns out that the front part of my apartment actually is deceiving as the temperatures do not match up to those in my bedroom.

I want a quiet one today, a quiet one after a quiet week. I should just admit it and use that cliché: anything for a quiet life.

As an exercise into getting stuff done this week has been a resounding failure. After the initial flurry and burst of activity on Monday morning writing has been minimally productive. There is now a fair whack of new stuff online but it is mainly on No Pictures. This blog in the meantime remains deeply routed in the past (as I write this the current entry online is 6 May 2009. Ouch. With regards to progress on Gestures – don’t depress me any more than I need to be.

This morning there is something of a minor mission to get to Asda in order to snag a free Bruno promo flashdrive being given away with the News Of The World. I am a true sucker for a freebie. As I by the newspaper for the token beforehand on Layer Road stores it is soon mission accomplished as I manage to get my USB drive. The woman tells me “they are popular today.” Yes, the public likes a freebie.

As I head to pick up a basket in jubilation my thrill is shortlived as I see the nine fingered guy from school. We acknowledge each other but it is quite laboured on my part. What on earth must he think of me as he spots and I barely squeeze out an “all right” that is audible. Why do I care what he thinks though? I know I shouldn’t but I do. All in all it depresses.

After my minor spree I fly back home as quick as possible and attack writing once more. I squeeze out a fair degree of stuff but nothing to overly celebrate. As ever it feels laboured.

By way of a deserved break with my current interest in Vonnegut in mind I put on the movie version of Slaugterhouse-Five. Now this isn’t cheating I did actually read this book last year but didn’t really like it. I have to admit I do not see (at the moment) why people rave about Vonnegut but I want to.

With this in mind unfortunately this movie version of the book doesn’t shed any light on the wonder either as it just serves to confuse and labour the point, basically just not be very good. In fact it all turns out to be quite depressing, perhaps even worse than the book. The ending with the aliens is just weird and pretty much nothing of the movie is how I envisaged how it was in the book.

In order to rediscover and reclaim some light relief I next watch the final episode from season 1 of 30 Rock which delivers tenfold.

Just before 3PM I head over to the parents’ place in Balkerne Heights per routine for Sunday lunch. At least the dog is happy to see me (as I always say/think).

After lunch we wind up watching The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen and I begin to remember watching this in Clacton one Wednesday afternoon with my old school friend Mark Dunn. This movie always got slated and now I can see why to an extent but if one person likes Time Bandits why aren’t they going to like this movie? Then again it is showing on Channel Five on a Sunday afternoon which kind of hints/suggests the quality of the flick.

The Sunday doesn’t fail to amuse as afterwards Sky shows the episode of Futurama guesting most of the voices from the original series of Star Trek. It’s an amazing episode.

As I begin to consider how there should be more to my life, after watching The Simpsons I head home with view to returning to the rat race tomorrow.

In the evening I get in a good session of writing.

Evening it comes time for Big Brother and Sophie with her suddenly huge tits that appear to have ballooned overnight. How could I have been so blind before? During the show I exchange numerous text messages with Nina on the subject. It is mesmerising.

The night ends with the Tenacious D movie on Channel Four and obviously this reminds me of my first date with Catherine when we went to a press screening of it on Great Marlborough Street where Mark Kermode was in the audience. Haunted and hampered by such memories I fall asleep within five minutes.