Saturday 4 July 2009

Today is Independence Day. Of course that is in America so nobody in their right mind gives a flying fuck about those or their evil traditions.

Today is also Billy Pilgrim’s birthday. That is something better and more worthy of celebration.

With my car now back on the road it is business as usual as my holiday sadly slowly grinds to a conclusion with nothing actually having been achieved or accomplished. The best laid plans of men that are a mess.

I am up early this morning and it is with the intention of getting down to Holland and grab a long overdue to haircut at Colin’s. Soon I find myself up and running and on the road.

Driving to Clacton is almost a journey filled with mixed emotions. It’s really great to get a run out in the car but the destination is not one stock full of 100% good memories. This is where I come from and also glad that I left. I shudder to think these days about a life spent here for eternity. What would I have become if I had not found a way out, had not moved away and eventually wound up in London. This is where people come to die, not where people are designed/supposed to spend their waking lives.

When I get to Colin’s to get my haircut I am met with an almost inevitable sign stating that the shop is shut and that he will be on holiday now until 13 July. I curse my luck and my decision/choice not to have come here last weekend. I curse my car breaking down and my inability to not get here during the week. I curse that I will now continue to look like a scruffy mess now for at least another two weeks. How many social engagements will/do I have in the meantime? Shit.

To rub salt in the wound as I pass the shop and turn around I actually catch sight of Colin around the corner outside chatting to somebody in their garden. Both of them stare at me as I pass (being a stranger) and I can’t help but wave to him in defeat. Do you think if I stopped and asked him if he would just open his shop for one cut (for me) he would? No, me neither.

With that I trawl home having made/had a wasted journey although as I said above it was good to get out of the house, to give the car a run and to rub up on 100mph.

Getting home I attempt to write and a little comes out but not much, the flow is just not there today.

In the early afternoon I find myself watching the Wimbledon ladies final because it features Serena Williams. I miss playing tennis, it’s actually a pretty fun game and this is a really interesting match as there is nothing in it until Venus slowly weakens and Serena capitalises and takes over for her inevitable victory.

With the game still in progress I head over to my parents at Balkerne Heights for some routine Saturday dinner and I find myself horrified that they are not watching the tennis and they Amazon brute beauties.

Later when I head home in the evening I wind up chatting to Swapna on MSN but now I fear we are far beyond having much to say to each other anymore. Such is life.