Friday 5 June 2009
Dream: I am at a central London restaurant of ours next to the behind of a building that is hosting some kind of awards ceremony. Outside I see Robin Ince unloading a car and in the real world we are acquainted enough to the point that he knows my name so I greet him and have a chat (his is a SUPER talented comedian). After unloading his car (does he even drive?) he heads inside the building and Ricky Gervais comes outside. Upon seeing him I immediately go to shake his hand with my left hand. With this he pulls back swift and nastily snapping “oi, we’ll save that for later.” He hates me, did a certain American friend of mine get to him first and tell him about me? Ha ha. Perhaps she snuck in with her lanky boyfriend pretending he is Stephen Merchant in the situation the way she pretends that he is Stephen Merchant in her life (Mark’s Mel from Flight Of The Conchords observation/comparison is now taking on a scary resonance). Ultimately it just turns out that Ricky Gervais is weary of strangers and dislikes them the same way that most people do. Still I feel offended by this reaction and I look around for Robin Ince to talk to to appear a friend or acquaintance of just to stick it to Ricky and gain some kind of degree/level of acceptance. This is such a rubbish dream.

Awaking this morning thankfully last nights optimism has filtered through into today as I hurdle through my early preparation with almost a skip.

Where did the rain come from today?

Leaving home today yet again I get stuck behind another early morning poodling car. Where the fuck do these things come from? Are they old people trying to avoid the rush? Are they demented people without driving licences attempting to slip under the radar? Are these people just still drunk, stoned and/or fucked up from last night behind the wheel of a car? Regardless of which one of the three they are they appear intent on ruining my life.

When I finally park up I discover that the headphones are no longer attached to my iPod. Inspecting the car it appears that I caught them in the door as I slammed it shut and now part of one of the heads is missing. Surprisingly it still works but now it sticks to the inside of my ear and crackles slightly. This isn’t good.

After enduring with the headphones the train pulls into Liverpool Street at 8.03 today. FAIL. To compliment this my tube at Liverpool Street is then delayed in arriving and thus when it turns up it is predictably rammed. Commuting is so rubbish.

Once finally in St Johns Wood and almost at work I make a point of buying The Sun this morning in an effort to familiarise and educate myself about the new Big Brother housemates. Cultural event of the summer!

I get into work first with a thirst this morning so immediately I am behind the bar. Cocktail!

Soon as people begin to filter in talk turns to Big Brother and all the new housemates. See, this shit is essential viewing if you work in an office.

Not long afterwards The Girl comes into the office moaning about her tooth and despite leaving an hour early yesterday to get it sorted out she didn’t go to the NHS drop in centre in the end. I want that hour back.

Soon a boss is on the phone asking me what the latest position of the audit is. He then proceeds to be on the phone again every following hour it seems/feels. Under such pressured circumstances I plough into work this morning although in my opinion it is looking as if we are practically there.

For lunch I have a burger today, this is rare treat well done these days. My imagination needs sparking.

Today on Radio One during the review of Terminator Salvation (Terminator 4) the reviewer James King makes a reference to Romeo Zondervan. Now that is something I never dreamt would ever occur on Radio One in this day and age.

In the afternoon I find various estranged family (extended) members on Facebook. Jesus they would appear to inhabit a different world. One cousin’s wife’s profile pictures are littered with photos to a wedding I wasn’t invited to, that I didn’t even know had occurred. This is nepotism boy, the lad that dicked my old man about in his final years at work while getting an undeserved foot up/bump at work. Oh well, his wedding looks shit anyway.

Ultimately today is a frustrating day felt all around. There was a hefty deadline attached to the audit for today but really those that should be in command were not present to put it to sleep. I’ve tried my best with it and whether this is good enough is to be seen.

I manage to get out at 5.15, later than usual for a Friday but earlier than I was expecting for this Friday. Luckily the consultant is heading to Lords for the cricket tonight. Myself as I head to St Johns Wood tube station I find myself confronted with the sight of many cricket fans all getting in the way and waving foreign flags of third world countries.

Despite the late exit I still manage to catch the 6PM train and with it I see Sarah already aboard and on this occasion she properly clocks me. As we exchange leers I just smile, pained not smug, almost apologetic. I am mellowing with age I fear.

Karma chews me up as after this I fail to get a decent seat and wind up sat next to a fatso crowding the plate. Then I notice he has two phones and we all know what I think about people with two phones…..

As I check my own phone on Facebook David Schneider has answered my Facebook message. This is a genuine wow – gotta love the internet and the opportunities it offers.

Tonight two people have dogs on the train – what is that about? Do they behave? Unfortunately so, especially when a little dog chaos would have been a refreshing bout of fun on a very dry train journey.

Back in Colchester I pop briefly into the olds’ crib on Balkerne Heights but soon I am headed home to watch the first Big Brother of this series. Early impressions aren’t great.

In the early hours this morning (2AM) BBC2 is showing American Movie, which is so amazing. Unfortunately it is on at 2AM and I don’t stand a fucking chance of being awake at that time and ultimately I am not. Who scheduled it for that hour? Idiots.